Oui Can Do It!

Moving to France isn’t impossible, but it does take a bit of gumption

I’ve written plenty about moving to France. I thought I didn’t have anything more to say about it, then a lot of “always/never/only” comments started cropping up on my feeds. I imagine the negativity is rooted in our generalized feeling of despair. I told myself to leave it alone, but myself wouldn’t listen.

I have no skin in the game. The French government has not offered me a free lifetime supply of croissants to lure my smart, creative, accomplished readers to their shores. But I’m feeling the need to reassure you that if you want to go, you can do it. And you’ll probably be happier.

Some things people have said to me that simply are not accurate:

It’s just the same there as it is here : Not really. France has universal health care, a fact-based government, no gun culture, and a woman’s right to choose has been enshrined in French law. The far right, far left, and all the parties in between agree on these things, if nothing else. There’s an actual social safety net. Necessities are affordable and luxury items are expensive. The food is good, community is a universal value, literature is revered. Trust me when I say, it’s a whole other enchilada (however, there are no actual enchiladas, which is very sad.)

It’s impossible : A lot of folks who say this are confusing French residency with French citizenship. In fact, you can live in France as a French resident without ever becoming a French citizen. There are different visas and residency permits available depending on your situation, and you can access a visa wizard to find out which visa works best for you. There are specific Facebook groups administered by people who are finicky about facts that are incredibly useful. There is The Local, which covers everything about living in France, written in English. Is all this time-consuming and sometimes a wee bit befuddling, yes. Is it impossible? No.

They only want rich people : The French want people who are going to contribute something to France. If you’re not able to land a job in the corporate sector (admittedly difficult), there are options for starting your own business. You’re required to demonstrate you’re able to earn/have access to a percentage of the French minimum wage per month. At the moment, that’s about 1400 euros ($1450). If you’re of an entrepreneurial/small business owner bent, there’s a special visa for you.

They don’t want Americans : France is our oldest ally, and the French have a keen sense of their own history. They’re well aware of the role the United States played in liberating their nation during World War II. If you love France enough to jump through the hoops to move there, that probably also means that you intend to integrate into French culture. You want to learn to live the way the French do. You want to celebrate their culture and learn to speak the language. All of which they deeply appreciate. Some of my most cherished friendships are those with French people.

I feel like I need to stay here and fight! : Regardless where you lay your bones at night, as long as you’re an American citizen you pay taxes and can vote in Federal elections. Unless you’re planning on chaining yourself to the gate outside the White House, or are secretly organizing a national General Strike (if you are, I salute you!) you can easily call and/or email congressmen and other politicians from France. I do it pretty much every day.

The French are all a bunch of fascists/racists : France is a modern country with modern problems. There are racists. There are fascists. There are bad actors. The far right is on the rise, which is worrisome in the extreme. However, they are not all a bunch of anything. My closest French friends are neither racists nor fascists. There are a lot of people who are neither racists nor fascists, just like in the US.

I’ll never learn French : No, you won’t. Not like a native French speaker. You probably won’t ever be able to hold forth on Jacques Derrida with intellectuals on France Culture. But there are degrees of speaking French. If you’re patient, don’t mind sounding like an idiot, and keep at it, you will be able to talk to your neighbor. You’ll be able to make friends. The more you speak it, the better you’ll get. Language snobs turn their noses up at Duolingo, but it works, as long as you’re also speaking French in your daily life. Comme Une Française is an excellent online resource, as is Hello French. If you suspect I’m being unduly optimistic, look no further than the Man of the House, who had ZERO French when we moved, and now prattles on to the degree that French people who don’t know him think he’s French (albeit from Belgium or some other French speaking country).

I can’t possibly leave my family : I hear this, and I know it’s complicated. I have a beloved daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter in the US. I have dear friends whom I see when we make our annual pilgrimage to the States. Now that we’ve lived in France for nearly six years, it seems I’ve created a life in which I’m ALWAYS missing someone. My heart is always soft. When I’m in France I miss my beloveds who live in the US; when I’m in the US I miss my beloveds in France. However, I also miss France itself. I miss our little house on the prettiest street in Collioure, the view of the vineyards from our upstairs balcony, the changing moods of the sea, our favorite waiters at Café St. Elme, the croissants at Chez Kadar, the apéro at Juju’s, where the aprés-pétanque crowd is always served a tray of hot frites, on the house. I miss my life there, where most days I’m happy.

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