Not placing blame on mothers, and broad, over generalized theory here, mother pampered sons can produce entitled princes who haven’t a clue how to treat women. Other men get treated better, but that’s merely survival instinct. Not solely a French thing. Upper Westsiders and nearby CT wealth belt churns them out pretty well too. It’s how love is interpreted.
As an American man living part time in France, there are a few things that I notice. I don't know if I'd go so far to call them ungentlemanly but they are oblivious/inconsiderate actions: I have never seen a French man offer to help a woman hoist her heavy suitcase into/out of the overhead storage on a train or plane, they do not seem to step aside or make way for women on crowded sidewalks or at busy entrances to (say) the Polygone shopping center in Montpellier, they do not offer up their own seat when they see a woman standing/waiting (noticed recently at Gare du Nord).
Roberto, you are completely correct about the heavy suitcase hoisting. That didn't even occur to me, but I've also never seen a Frenchman offer to hoist a heavy suitcase on a train or plane. The woman could be 5 feet tall and 127 years old, and they don't make move! Why is that? American men are forever leaping up and offering assistance. When we're on a train, my husband enlists himself in helping pretty much everyone who needs a hand. Maybe it's because he was a boy scout? They don't have boy scouts in France, I don't think. Boys don't learn from a young age the value and honor involved in "helping a little old lady cross the street." As for stepping aside on the sidewalk -- there seems to be no stepping aside in the entire nation, regardless whether we're talking men, women, children, or dogs on a leash.
To be fair with the suitcase thing - I have received a handful of curt “Non!” replies when I asked “Je peux vous aider, madame?” So maybe it’s considered demeaning or something?
I wouldn't be surprised if you thought you were being gentlemanly, and they thought you were being patronizing. The nuances of our different social codes are real.
I guess people are people (substitute men?) everywhere, even though we wish it weren’t so!
Very true. Except in France you always have to say bonjour. :)
Not placing blame on mothers, and broad, over generalized theory here, mother pampered sons can produce entitled princes who haven’t a clue how to treat women. Other men get treated better, but that’s merely survival instinct. Not solely a French thing. Upper Westsiders and nearby CT wealth belt churns them out pretty well too. It’s how love is interpreted.
You're not wrong!
As an American man living part time in France, there are a few things that I notice. I don't know if I'd go so far to call them ungentlemanly but they are oblivious/inconsiderate actions: I have never seen a French man offer to help a woman hoist her heavy suitcase into/out of the overhead storage on a train or plane, they do not seem to step aside or make way for women on crowded sidewalks or at busy entrances to (say) the Polygone shopping center in Montpellier, they do not offer up their own seat when they see a woman standing/waiting (noticed recently at Gare du Nord).
Roberto, you are completely correct about the heavy suitcase hoisting. That didn't even occur to me, but I've also never seen a Frenchman offer to hoist a heavy suitcase on a train or plane. The woman could be 5 feet tall and 127 years old, and they don't make move! Why is that? American men are forever leaping up and offering assistance. When we're on a train, my husband enlists himself in helping pretty much everyone who needs a hand. Maybe it's because he was a boy scout? They don't have boy scouts in France, I don't think. Boys don't learn from a young age the value and honor involved in "helping a little old lady cross the street." As for stepping aside on the sidewalk -- there seems to be no stepping aside in the entire nation, regardless whether we're talking men, women, children, or dogs on a leash.
To be fair with the suitcase thing - I have received a handful of curt “Non!” replies when I asked “Je peux vous aider, madame?” So maybe it’s considered demeaning or something?
I wouldn't be surprised if you thought you were being gentlemanly, and they thought you were being patronizing. The nuances of our different social codes are real.
As American we are often surprised that French are not so rude as we thought
They're not rude, but there is a cultural difference.
Ack! It cut me off and I couldn’t figure out how to delete it. So,here we go again.
Made me laugh, especially about Raoul and getting busted in the metro. I agree completely with your assessments, Cherie.
What a bizarre time that was. Apologies for not including you in our metro escapade. Of course, I couldn't have lied so successfully without you. ;)
Hilarious!
Please tell me these posts are eventually going to be contained in their own book. Your observations are spot on and SO DAMN funny!
Merci bien, Patricia. I'd love to hear about some of your experiences with French men!
lol, this is great.
Thanks, Jason. Men all over the world are gentleman, and also, not so much.
10/10 for accuracy, fairness, and wit.
HA! Thanks for the good score. No points deducted!