I love the phrase "clingy old boyfriend!" I remember being 32 and my mom, who was not too much older than I am now, extending every visit we had. Sorry, Mom! I was busy with career/travel/bands/boyfriend, and I'm sure if we'd texted then, it would have been the same. Now we text all the time, and if I don't answer for a few days I get a lot of "are you okay???!!!!" and I usually call her. Moms are the best. Keep texting. We secretly LOVE it.
When you have a kid you never realize what you're actually doing to yourself is creating another heart that now lives outside your body and can wander the world doing whatever it wants! Thanks for the encouragement, Hibou!
I’m relieved to see I’m not alone in this. I thought perhaps it was me who was the only clingy one and that nobody else could possibly imagine what I’m going through.
Wow this one made me tear up. I’m exactly what you described… gasp! I’m the clingy boyfriend in The Netherlands missing my daughter who chose not join me and stayed back in Georgia. Oh my! I have a new name now. This was very touching.
I think my parents took great effort never to come across as clingy, and that fed into my really poor calling habits. As a result we barely had contact even though we get along great. I saw them a few family gatherings a year. Now, I'm trying to reverse it, but it's not easy to change a decade-long behavioral pattern. All that to say that I'd probably pick a clingy parent over a more distant one -- I'm validating your feelings, just send that 20th text! When her kid is grown and out of the house, she'll understand.
I, too, am a member of this club and recently told my younger sister who is raising a challenging teen daughter, "Just you wait. You'll do anything to be a part of her life." She just rolled her eyes.
Wow does this resonate! As you know, my granddaughter is now 10 months old, as was born while I was there. She wasn't due for 3 more weeks. My daughter and I have similar text exchanges, at the same hour, and we live in the same time zone. I babysit a few days a week to "get my fill" of grandparenting. It's never enough. I will have to remember the pretzel trick.
When she turned 30 and chose to live in the UK while I remained here in NJ, I knew it was the best of both worlds for my daughter. Eight years later, she's expecting her second child and living in Dorset, a ten minutes' walk from the Atlantic. Your piece broke my heart 'cause I know this longing so well. Here's to the clingy old boyfriends!
I don't get there as often as I'd like... I usually spend most of my time plotting and scheming how to get there -the best fares, whether my 'points' will cover a flight, etc. Then once I'm there, I frantically attempt to be irresistible, so that they'll want me to come back! It's totally exhausting, pretending that it's effortless, I mean.
So many great lines that make me laugh out loud but my favorite is “Like the clingy old boyfriend I am, it took me a good five minutes to figure out they were waiting for me to leave.”
Oofa. I feel every word of this. The physical and psychic distance between Europe and the west coast is brutal. (Mine is in his late 20's living in LA)
Right?! It's interesting (as the French say about 10 times a day) -- some of my French friends have children that live elsewhere, and they don't seem to agonize this way.
I love the phrase "clingy old boyfriend!" I remember being 32 and my mom, who was not too much older than I am now, extending every visit we had. Sorry, Mom! I was busy with career/travel/bands/boyfriend, and I'm sure if we'd texted then, it would have been the same. Now we text all the time, and if I don't answer for a few days I get a lot of "are you okay???!!!!" and I usually call her. Moms are the best. Keep texting. We secretly LOVE it.
When you have a kid you never realize what you're actually doing to yourself is creating another heart that now lives outside your body and can wander the world doing whatever it wants! Thanks for the encouragement, Hibou!
I’m relieved to see I’m not alone in this. I thought perhaps it was me who was the only clingy one and that nobody else could possibly imagine what I’m going through.
Thanks Ronda. And welcome to COB -- the Clingy Old Boyfriend club. x
Wow this one made me tear up. I’m exactly what you described… gasp! I’m the clingy boyfriend in The Netherlands missing my daughter who chose not join me and stayed back in Georgia. Oh my! I have a new name now. This was very touching.
I think my parents took great effort never to come across as clingy, and that fed into my really poor calling habits. As a result we barely had contact even though we get along great. I saw them a few family gatherings a year. Now, I'm trying to reverse it, but it's not easy to change a decade-long behavioral pattern. All that to say that I'd probably pick a clingy parent over a more distant one -- I'm validating your feelings, just send that 20th text! When her kid is grown and out of the house, she'll understand.
Oh Jane, thanks so much for your wisdom. That's good advice and it does make me feel better about being a clingy old boyfriend. x
I, too, am a member of this club and recently told my younger sister who is raising a challenging teen daughter, "Just you wait. You'll do anything to be a part of her life." She just rolled her eyes.
Oh, the revenge of the life cycle is coming for your younger sister! It's shocking how much it can change.
Wow does this resonate! As you know, my granddaughter is now 10 months old, as was born while I was there. She wasn't due for 3 more weeks. My daughter and I have similar text exchanges, at the same hour, and we live in the same time zone. I babysit a few days a week to "get my fill" of grandparenting. It's never enough. I will have to remember the pretzel trick.
When she turned 30 and chose to live in the UK while I remained here in NJ, I knew it was the best of both worlds for my daughter. Eight years later, she's expecting her second child and living in Dorset, a ten minutes' walk from the Atlantic. Your piece broke my heart 'cause I know this longing so well. Here's to the clingy old boyfriends!
Oh thank you Carrie! Do you get to the UK often? Does she bring her family to visit? Long live the clingy old boyfriends!
I don't get there as often as I'd like... I usually spend most of my time plotting and scheming how to get there -the best fares, whether my 'points' will cover a flight, etc. Then once I'm there, I frantically attempt to be irresistible, so that they'll want me to come back! It's totally exhausting, pretending that it's effortless, I mean.
So many great lines that make me laugh out loud but my favorite is “Like the clingy old boyfriend I am, it took me a good five minutes to figure out they were waiting for me to leave.”
Thanks, Sam. It all seems funny and not-so-funny to my ear, so I never know what's working.
Oofa. I feel every word of this. The physical and psychic distance between Europe and the west coast is brutal. (Mine is in his late 20's living in LA)
Right?! It's interesting (as the French say about 10 times a day) -- some of my French friends have children that live elsewhere, and they don't seem to agonize this way.
HA! I think 50 to 1 is probably the correct ratio, alas. ;)