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Patricia Corns's avatar

Already left, couldn’t take one more election cycle with the orange one.

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Robert A M Ross's avatar

The “Oh God” paragraph will have me giggling for weeks!

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Rouge Noir's avatar

I’ve lived in France for 20 years and am a Brit but I’d say this is pretty much spot on. Plus forget transacting on line. Most French websites are simply a map of how to visit the emporium

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Karen Karbo's avatar

HAHA! Or, they tell you the history of the company, what is sold at the company, but not where or how to buy it.

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Rouge Noir's avatar

Or photos of the kinds of things they might have. But never prices.

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Karen Karbo's avatar

It's as if they're saying -- we DARE you to purchase something from us

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Sandra Stephens's avatar

"we only want you to buy our stuff if you are worthy. prove your worthiness, and figure out how to buy it!"

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Sophie Renaude's avatar

French expatriate living in the UK for 7 years now.

Your post is precious, accurate (and fun ☺️).

Your points regarding the eternal quest for beloved motherland’s products (good quality chocolate, biafine and square pillowcases in my case) resonates so much with me.

I believe your general piece of advice is particularly true : living in a new country is not exactly replicating your life and lifestyle abroad. It’s about creating a new life.

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Karen Karbo's avatar

Your perspective means so much to me, Sophie. When I write about living in France, I'm always thinking about what my French friends and neighbors will make of my observations -- whether my observations resonate with them or strike them as yet another jolly American's misreading of French life and culture. Merci encore! (And yes, I've grown to love the square pillows -- they make much more sense to me now than the rectangular pillows favored in the US.)

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Sophie Renaude's avatar

Never forget how brave you are to move, live and give so much love to a country that is not your birthplace. It requires a lot of strengh and a wonderful open mind.

So, you are certinaly not another jolly American misreading the French culture. You are a wonderful American who was brave enough to come to France to embrace its culture. It's fantastic!

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Liz's avatar

Yes! What is up with the square pillows and the long round bolster pillows?

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Karen Karbo's avatar

I got nothin

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Carrie Hayes's avatar

Number 3! All the way. which is to say I am completely food obsessed, for no other reason, than I am. Eating. It's the last true pleasure.

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Karen Karbo's avatar

You should get on the plane immediately.

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Erin Henderson's avatar

I am that person who discusses the next meal while eating the first. And develops an air tight tactical plan around making it. As for dildos…I’ll bring that up at my next cocktail party and find out the consensus.

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Karen Karbo's avatar

I appreciate your research!

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Erin Henderson's avatar

Stand by!

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Dirichlet-to-Neumann's avatar

I must say that you are partly wrong about French talking about food. We don't only talk about the meals we plan for the future, but also the one we had in the past, the one our friends had, the ones we wish we had and the ones we know we won't.

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Erin Henderson's avatar

Haha! Of course! My mistake. 🙂

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Amy Brown's avatar

I had already planned to leave but if Trump is elected, it will be an extra relief of a getaway. I am moving to Barcelona, where my older daughter lives. The other lives in Paris. I lived previously in Sweden and then Malta, for a total of 22 years, so Europe is like a second home. And it's time to come home.

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Karen Karbo's avatar

Having one daughter in Barcelona and one in Paris sounds parfait. You could spend the rest of your born days traveling between the two with utter contentment. Bon voyage et bienvenue.

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Amy Brown's avatar

Don’t I know it!😀

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Leigh Stein's avatar

are you saying Brittany is the Wuthering Heights of France?

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Karen Karbo's avatar

That is exactly what I'm saying. But with good cheese.

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Sarah Knight's avatar

All of this, except we moved from the US to the Dominican Republic in 2016 (before *that* election, actually…) and my poor long-suffering husband has to make seven stops every time he goes to run a single errand. Will the paper store have envelopes? Nope. How about folders? Maybe next week! Does the same hardware store where we bought these batteries yesterday have them today? Who can say! Did the guy who runs the petfood store really decide to take a 3-hour lunch? HE SURE DID. (About once every three months or so the hubs gets lucky and finds “his” brand of Listerine and buys every bottle on the shelf 😂😂😂)

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Karen Karbo's avatar

The paper store! Will they EVER have folders? Also, is the paper the same size as it is in the US? It is NOT in France. A4 is longer and thinner. It is just long enough to so that French documents (of which there are a fuckton for every bureaucratic transaction) don't fit in the "regular" folders I order from amazon. Bravo to the hubs on the Listerine. He's a keeper.

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Sarah Knight's avatar

Oh, the paper sizes 😅 The major “big box” retailer in this country is IKEA, located about 2.5 hours away from my little fishing village. I was vey proud of myself for obtaining and putting together an IKEA file cabinet to organize all of our documents (residency applications: not for the faint of heart!) and then when I tried to fill it with the hanging folders I ordered from Amazon US (no folders to be found in town, per earlier), I learned that IKEA operates on the European sizing, even when selling to a non-European country. Every day’s a school day 🥸

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Karen Karbo's avatar

OH MERDE! If IKEA if going to be the ruler of flat-pack furniture, they need to get adapt. Dealing with the different paper sizes is like being on the world's most boring acid trip. I feel your pain.

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Lisa Cunningham DeLauney's avatar

So relatable! Thanks for writing this! I've spent 20 years away from my native UK, in Cambodia, Serbia and now Slovenia. It is a great adventure but also hard work. Getting stuck in a telephone maze is the worst. Again, even if you speak the language, it's easy t get lost. Fast reading from a script, endless options and loops. Even in your native language it can be hell.

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Karen Karbo's avatar

Oh my God, the phone is impossible. I can never ever ever EVER make the most basic appointment by phone because I always seem to mess up the day, date, time.

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Melissa Rossi's avatar

Haha, you nailed it! Truly important questions expressed in a very funny way.

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Karen Karbo's avatar

Thanks, friend. <3

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Lisa's avatar

I started the process of getting my Italian citizenship back in 2016, because of Cheetoman. My mom’s side is 100% Italian and it took until 2020 to get it. Best decision of my life. Now, my wife and I are working on retiring over there in the next year or so. I’ve loved European lifestyles ever since my first trip in 2003, to visit cousins in a small Abruzzo town. Whether it be Italy or elsewhere, having the freedom to leave and means to relocate are something I know not everyone can do. So I feel very fortunate and grateful.

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Adam Remsen's avatar

Every one of these points convinced me (even further) that I should move to France immediately.

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Karen Karbo's avatar

If not now, when?

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Julia's avatar

One small detail that I don’t see addressed in this all is: how can Americans just pick up and move abroad, other than as tourists? Insofar as every European country and even non European countries have super strict rules about visa stays and working versus non working visas. Sorry to be annoying but this seems like kind of a large “detail” to overlook. I guess what I’m saying is that, in the same way foreigners can’t just frog march themselves over to the US and plunk down to work without a residence permit, the reverse is also true

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Karen Karbo's avatar

You're absolutely correct, Julia. That said, there are a lot of different visa streams for Americans in France. Without Googling, off the top of my head, there are visas for students (even older learners), retirees, so-called 'auto-entrepeneurs' -- basically, small-business owners -- and "talented" workers, instituted by President Macron to attract people in tech and engineering to come to France. These are visas for between 1 and 4 years, most of which are traded for residency permits upon arrival. I can't speak with any degree of expertise about visas in other countries, but if you're determined to go, there's generally a way.

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Peggy northrop's avatar

This made me laugh out loud (as your writing always does).

At the doctor's last week I had a hilarious conversation about my height, which I expressed as 56 centimeters instead of 5 feet 6. I think this would make me about 2 feet tall. On the plus side, the doctor and her assistant, as I sat half-clothed in the corner, discussed my accent and decided that I couldn't possibly be American, which I took as a very great compliment.

Also, our best friend in Paris, who has been here 30+ years and is enthusiastically French, noted with satisfaction that we spent an entire meal with him and his French girlfriend talking about food we had recently eaten and/or planned to eat soon.

So, progress on many fronts! And next time we know to bring the industrial-sized Advil bottles. xx

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Karen Karbo's avatar

HAHA! Yeah, that means you about 21 inches tall. But, Peggy, you do seem so much taller, so not to worry. As for the complement about your accent — brava et felicitations! That IS a huge. We’ve graduated to people thinking we must be “from the north,” which may, en fait, be LESS of a complement.

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Sheila Hamilton's avatar

I am that person who tires of talking about food after the appetizer. A very helpful guide. Miss you, KK!

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Karen Karbo's avatar

I miss you! I hope your program is going well. (Bet it is!) xx

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